


Worlds Apart

by goodisrelative



Category: Doctor Who
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-27
Updated: 2009-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-05 08:39:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodisrelative/pseuds/goodisrelative
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>One act resulted in two new beings.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worlds Apart

Title: Worlds Apart  
Author: goodisrelative  
Pairing: Nine/Rose  
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: Thru _The Christmas Invasion_, then basically some time in the future  
Warning: Angst  
Summary: _One act resulted in two new beings._  
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Doctor Who… and if I had any control over it, Nine would still be the Doctor. Doctor Who is owned by the BBC and Russell T. Davies and I make no profit from this. I just borrow the characters and return them relatively unharmed.  
AN1: **(This was written well before the spoilery news came out!)**  
  
A/N2: A little explanation is needed for this piece… only on my point of view/place in watching the show. I have watched through The Christmas Invasion. I have heard the rumors and rumblings on 10 and through the most recent episodes of S2, although I have not seen any of S2, save TCI. This piece is Rose… her thoughts, feelings, and future, as seen through my eyes on the fandom.  
A/N3: Thanks to [](http://pixie-on-acid.livejournal.com/profile)[**pixie_on_acid**](http://pixie-on-acid.livejournal.com/) and [](http://kate98.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://kate98.livejournal.com/)**kate98** for the beta!

* * *

 

She knows more now than before. More than she wants to, maybe more than she can handle. But definitely more.

She understands, now at least, that he is still the Doctor. She knows he has memories of all their adventures together – just like she does. She knows their hands still fit together like they did before. She's glad of that fact, because she thinks she wouldn't still be here with him if they didn't.

She knows he still wears a mask most of the time – shielding her from his moods, thoughts, feelings. She's not sure if he just hasn't perfected it yet or if she's just better able to see it now, after everything. But she knows when it's there, a wall between them.

He still reaches for her hand – that hasn't changed. Neither has how often that action is followed by him yelling "Run!" He still can attract trouble like a lightning rod attracts lightning.

He's still not the same. She knows it was she who changed him – her actions. She's still learning to live with that fact, but she's accepted it. She knows about regeneration now ¬– how it brings a new form and a new personality. It's still easier for her to think of them as two different people: the current Doctor and her Doctor. The current Doctor is still making changes in her, but she knows her Doctor, the previous one, is the one that truly changed her and she's still changing because of him.

He isn't _her_ Doctor anymore. He has the memories, but not the face, body, nor speech of hers. He doesn't say "Fantastic!" anymore. He doesn't smell like old leather. He doesn't grin maniacally at her as he comes up with a plan. She never thought she'd miss his Dumbo ears, but she does, now that they're gone. He doesn't tease her about "boyfriends" anymore or call her the best. She misses all of that.

He doesn't sacrifice everything for her anymore, either, but that's the one change she's happiest about. Maybe he's learned it's not smart – that the regeneration it costs isn't worth the price. Or it's a price he's no longer willing to pay. But she's sure it's neither. He's just not the same; he's not her Doctor anymore.

She still grieves for hers in her room, in a closed off part of herself, because she wants to spare this new Doctor. She's good at keeping her comparisons out of her eyes, mostly. She doesn't want to hurt this one, no matter how much she misses the old Doctor. She's grateful, though, that she'll never have to go through this again. She takes this as fact, just as she does that she'll never forget hers.

She hopes the current Doctor never realizes just how much she misses the old one or how she thinks of the previous one as hers. But she knows one day he will, and she prays he isn't too hurt by the knowledge and that he understands.

This grand adventure isn't the same anymore; her Doctor held stronger ties on her than the current one does. Because she knows, too, that no matter how things can appear the same, even in new packages, nothing ever is. She sees the differences that become clearer every minute of every day. It's just a matter of time before this too ends.

The current Doctor is no longer the alien she looked into the heart of the TARDIS for. Nor is he the one she took the Vortex in to save. He's no longer the one she loves heart, body and soul – with every atom of her being. She acknowledges she's no longer the Rose her Doctor came back for in the beginning, nor is she the one he truly knew in the end. That Rose died with him and she can't regenerate.

She understands time's consequences now. She can see the ripple effects time has on everything in all of time itself – even on those who live outside it. She knows she can't go back and do something, anything, to change it all. Because of that, she understands him, the alien she'll always love, more now than he ever wanted her to. But he's no longer at her side and she's not sure how much longer she will be at this ones' either.

She understands that things have to change. It's the one constant even outside of time. Everything must change. He's regenerated and she's changed. One act resulted in two new beings.


End file.
